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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28417158">Balderdash</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samirant/pseuds/Samirant'>Samirant</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the nonsense 'verse [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, F/M, Tumblr Fic, and a plethora of emojis, backpfeifengesicht: ten minutes later, but here it is for firesign bc i am very fond of firesign, i mean j &amp; b are there in theory?, it's all about them anyhow, oh yeah it's all texts, the oversized and rambling group text of doom, you probably already read this on tumblr</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:14:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,370</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28417158</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samirant/pseuds/Samirant</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(ten minutes later)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth, background Margaery/Sansa - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the nonsense 'verse [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2081286</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>93</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Balderdash</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>2020/8K or bust!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong>Margaery</strong>: JOY</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: JOY HILL ANDWER YIIR PHONE</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: I CANT BELIEVE SHE IS MISSING THIS. JOY!!!</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: SEND IT TO HER</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: I can’t just send it! This requires <em>preparation</em> we aren’t there to catch her if she falls over</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: Think of the children!</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: JOY</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: EITHER PUT ROSALIND DOWN OR HOLD HER REALLY TIGHTLY BEFORE YOU SCROLL DOWN</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: shes not kidding joy</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: gird yourself 😱</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Okay with the hysterics. Calm down, for sevens sake. </p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: SANSA DONT THINK INDIDNT NOTICE YOU NOT FREAKING OUT</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Margaery, I’m sitting right next to you, just speak to me. </p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: SANSA KNEW??????</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: I’m right here. In person.</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: And we were a little distracted, in case you don’t remember.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: JACCUSE 😡😡😡😡😡</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Goodness gracious. What in the world is going on?</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: joy!!!!!!!!</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: JOY!</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: I was setting Rose down for a nap and suddenly my phone went mad. </p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: I am so sorry. </p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: YOU BETTER BE 😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: I was speaking to Joy. </p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: joy</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: Joy my love</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: Sit down. </p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: I’m becoming concerned. </p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: but r you sitting or not???</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: I am now. </p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: And I’m very concerned. </p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Don’t be. It’s a very good thing. </p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: These two are just in shock. </p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Margaery? In shock? </p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: I KNO RIGHT?!?!</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Renly, less alarming. </p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: 😤</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: Without further ado…</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: So much ado. </p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: image.png</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: …</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: …</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: …</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Oh my goodness. </p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: RIGHT?!??</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣😂😂</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: ?</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Who did that? Tyrion? </p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Jaime? </p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Gods, is this why Brienne punched him? </p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: LOL It’s really good!</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: ?????</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: 🧐</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: Isnt it absolutely WILD?</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: It’s really something. </p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Some of my wedding photos could use touch ups, whoever put that together should give me a hand. </p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: That’s hilarious!</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Sorry, Brienne, when you read this, but it’s an excellent mock up.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: …</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: …</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: …</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Joy. That’s a real picture. </p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: TOO REAL</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: oh gods i just saw tyrions face</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: right there in the corner</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: HAHAHAHA</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: He still looks like that, look at him.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: like hes been smacked on the face with atrout</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: You’re joking.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: You must be joking.</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: We definitely are not. </p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: But</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: No</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: She’s getting it.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: But that’s Jaime and Brienne.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Kissing. </p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Brienne kissing Jaime.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: My cousin, Jaime.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: do we kno another jaime?</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: What?</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: WHAT?</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: And now you understand</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: WHAT</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Give her a moment.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: WHAT</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: …</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Brienne isn’t answering my texts.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: well yeah shes a little busy</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: jaime stole her away</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: BECAUSE THEY ARE DATING</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: …</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: WHAT?</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: Take a seat, take a breath, this is not a drill.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: 🤯</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: 🤯🤯🤯</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: Though Sansa APPARENTLY KNEW AND DID NOT BOTHER TO SHARE THE NEW WITH US</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: I didn’t know! Brienne just said something yesterday that made it make sense today.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: But she punched him!</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Like we always warned him she would!</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: het mating dances are weird</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: 😑</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Rude! And not true!</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: oh like it matters to you now</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Will someone PLEASE explain this to me? </p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: I’m half convinced you’re messing with me because I’m not there. </p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: Definitely not. We’d have Tyrion confirm but he’s refusing to talk to any of us. </p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: Plus: photo evidence</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: OK</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: She did punch him? I think?</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: where else would he have gotten the shiners</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: But it seems they’ve been friendly for a while and Jaime’s been visiting her in KL.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: HE HAS?</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: He says they’ve been dating for at least six months.</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: Brienne says six hours.</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: I’d say it’s somewhere in the middle of that.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: with punches </p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: I… I am flabbergasted.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: But that sounds exactly like Jaime.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: And Brienne.</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: ANYWAY</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: This morning we were teasing Jaime, it seemed deserved</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: overdue</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: And we joked about how he’d have to make it up to her, whatever he did</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: He probably still does.</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: And HE said that maybe Brienne should kiss it better</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: AND SHE DID</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: We laughed about it but then Brienne got up and walk</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: Fucks sake Renly just let me tell the story</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: she walked over and kissed him</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: the end </p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: 😏</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: 😡</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Just like that?</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Just like that.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Then they just dropped the bomb that they’ve been dating for - possibly - months?</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: hours</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: It’s all very amorphous </p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: But yes</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: They’re dating</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Wow.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Wooooooow.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: OMG!</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: JAIME AND BRIENNE!!!</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: It’s very cute. They are so cute. </p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: WEIRD</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: Very weird and also very cute</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: I’m still processing!</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Gods, I should have known. He mentions her all. The. Time.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: and brienne was a vault</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: until this morning</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: and perhaps last night</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Renly.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: tell me im wrong</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: if thats not ff hair i dont know what is</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: 😦</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: RENLY.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: im not sorry</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: You’re never sorry.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: but im consistent</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Very true.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: BRIENNE AND JAIME!!!!!</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: 🤩🤩🤩</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: they r stupid gross</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: n cute</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: i admit that</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: TYRIONS FACE THO</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Tyrion won’t answer my texts, either.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: he left with tysha</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: well he left and she went after him</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: very 😵</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: i think hesin a fudge</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: fugue</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: His worldview has been as rocked as ours has. At least you tried to prepare me.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Brienne, we are going to discuss this. At length. </p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: What?</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: OMH OMG OMG</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Oh gods.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: IWAS RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Renly NO.</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: RENLY YES</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: JON JUST WOKE UP</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Jon?</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: RENLY. NO.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: AND SANSA AND MARGIE TOLD HIM WHAT HE MISSED</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Is that Sansa’s boyfriend?</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Uh.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: AND HE SAID</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: HE SAAAAAAAID</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: He said “is that who i heard in the laundry room last night?”</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: IS THAT WHO</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: MARGAERY</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT RENLY HMMMM?</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: THUNDER STEALER</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: No.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: No way.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: NO WAY!</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: IS</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: THAT</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: WHO</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Don’t say it again. </p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: I </p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Please. </p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: HEARD</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: IN</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: THE</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Brienne is going to throttle you.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: LAUNDRY</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: ROOM</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: LAST</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: NIGHT</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: I’m pretty sure he doesn’t care.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: !!!!!!!!!!!!</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: BRIENNE WILL READ THIS ALL EVENTUALLY</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: THEN MAYBE SHE SHULDNT HAVE HOOKED UP WITH J ON THE WASHING MACHINE</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: 😳🤯</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: I AM SO PROUD OF YOU B</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: SO PROUD</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: 🤯 indeed</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Is it hooking up if they’re actually together?</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Brienne, I’m so sorry, I tried to stop him. </p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: its certainly not tender lovin on a cold tile floor</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Renly!</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Sorry, Tyrion, too. I guess.</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: I can see him outside, he still looks like he’s having an apoplexy</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: I think we’re having a collective apoplexy, to be honest.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Oh goodness gracious.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: Brienne. The laundry room?</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: maybe jaime needed a hand</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Renly, enough.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: never</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: I think Tyrion has his phone in his hand.</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: Oops.</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: <em>waves at Tyrion</em></p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: I can’t stop laughing.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: The. Laundry. Room.</p>
<p><strong>Tyrion</strong>: I am muting this thread. Effective Immediately. Possibly Forever.</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: Tyrion!</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: bang bang bangity bang</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Stop singing, Renly!</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: I said uh bang bang bangity bang!</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: MARGAERY!</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: 🤭🤣</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Brienne is going to have your heads for this.</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: You saw what she did to Jaime and she’s actually dating him.</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: 😍🥰😍😘😍😘😍😘😍🥰🥰🥰🥰</p>
<p><strong>Margaery</strong>: shes humming along brienen</p>
<p><strong>Sansa</strong>: Lies!</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: I… might be humming, too.</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: its her own fault</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: for the bangityness in the laundry room</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: but that seems the theme for the week maybe</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: love and banging all around except for poor jon</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: That’s right! Who is Jon?</p>
<p><strong>Renly</strong>: margie this is the prt where you tell her about you and sansa confessin ur undying love</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: …</p>
<p><strong>Joy</strong>: WHAT?</p>
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